Massed Flies Captain Cardbeard Cutthroat

Arrr, feast your eyes on this masterpiece of nautical engineering, meticulously crafted from the finest cardboard and held together by sheer willpower. This ensemble features a rugged pirate hat complete with a skull-and-crossbones motif and a matching, jagged beard that practically screams "I haven't showered in months." The entire look is punctuated by the Massed Flies unusual effect, providing a persistent, buzzing entourage that ensures you are never truly alone on the high seas. It’s the perfect way to announce your arrival while simultaneously clearing the room.